A man begins dying at the moment
of his birth. Most people live in denial of Death’s patient courtship until,
late in life and deep in sickness, they become aware of him sitting bedside.
Eventually, Mitchell Rafferty
would be able to cite the minute that he began to recognize the inevitability
of his death: Monday, May 14, 11:23 in the morning – three weeks short of his
twenty-eighth birthday.Until then, he had rarely though of dying. A born optimist, charmed by nature’s beauty and amused by humanity, he had no cause or inclination to wonder when and how his mortality would be proven.
When the call came, he was down on his knees.
Dean
Koontz
“The
Husband”
A strong opening to a story is of utmost importance; that is what I am told. I let Dean Koontz take care of the beginning of this essay for me. Nobody does it better than Koontz.
If you get to know me, you quickly realize I love to read ... mostly fiction. I have often read stories that stirred within me the desire to do something more, something bigger than what I was currently doing. I felt inspired to (cliche moment) "be all I could be."
Obviously, as a Christian, I recognize I can only be the ultimate me when "the life I now live, I live through the power of Christ within me." (Spending more time in the pages of scripture would propel that transportation more effectively.)
Like most people, my actions don't always measure up to the "full stature of Christ." His is the example to follow, and I am meandering down other trails.
The word of God gives clear instruction and inspiration, under the anointing of the Holy Spirit, about how to behave as I ought. Many sermons and lessons taught at church remind me of how I should
live and stir inside me the desire to live that way.
And yet I fail. I am tempted and I fail to resist and flee temptation. I act as if sin still had chains on my feet and hands and the power of God did not reside within my by His Spirit to make me free from the bondage of sin and death.
Like many others, I wonder why that is. How do I keep getting sidetracked? Why am I not consistently walking and talking like Jesus?
Why does that "WWJD" wrist band (if I wore one) become more a painful reminder of what I am not (experientially) than a sure light guiding my path and illuminating my footsteps?
One insight into the problem is highlighted in an integral difference between fiction and reality. The most inspirational "story" ... even as it attempts to portray the endurance and patience needed to live ... cannot accurately reflect the mundanity of life. Nobody would read a story that told every detail of every moment!
Fiction is entertainment, an escape from reality, even when it attempts to present a truth and represent real life.
Stories are told in bigger than real bites. They are played out in scenes, not moments (except for momentary emphasis). When I make major mistakes ... when I sin "big time" ... I have almost without fail made multiple small steps in the wrong direction, showing a lack of the endurance it truly takes to live righteously. The big scene in which I sin is always a direct result of those boring moments when I failed to keep my eyes on Christ.
Sins rarely stand alone; they are supported by the foundation of little failures to listen to Holy Spirit. I have forgone anointing to follow after temptations of the flesh. “Small foxes” have begun to spoil the vine, and the fruit is obvious misdeeds.
Paul, the apostle, tried to remind me to “run the race with patience.” He wrote that I would “reap” the blessings of God if I “faint not.”
I have too often forgotten that each tiny moment is actually a big scene in my story. Failure to live it that way is what leads to my ultimate realization that I have walked away from God; I’m no longer intimate with Him. He is saddened by my absence from His side.
I feel Godly sorrow, too, when I choose to repent and draw near to Him. Otherwise, I soon begin a new pattern of moment-by-moment ignoring God.
When Jesus talked about the issue, He used the image of "little foxes spoiling the vine." I, and all of us, must let His words guard hearts and minds moment-by-moment from the spoilage.
